Homesick

    Just last year, I was in my small and quiet suburban home enjoying my simple life one day at a time, and now, I am constantly on the move, balancing family, college, and my social life on an ever so delicate platter that I like to call "Life." One single misstep could lead to a complete disaster, shattering everything that I care about. Ever since I left the comfort of familiarity, I have longed to find it again; never would I have imagined it to be so difficult. With a positive attitude and a smile on my face, I go out to find something familiar to grab onto but with no success. My freshmen year in college is about to come to an end and I regrettably have to admit that I still have yet to find my balance.
   At this point, I am still homesick. Not in the sense that most people would assume, but in a way where I cannot go back to my old self. This new life has both provided me with pleasure and suffering; I have to just accept that and adapt. I miss not having a care in the world and embracing simplicity, but we all know that is not how it is meant to be. Life does not cater to the individual and must continue on its track of uncertainty.
   Looking at myself now, things are so much more different than it was before. The grueling schedule of an "adult" has completely consumed by former child-form and slapped me in the face with the hand of responsibility. Where was my warning?! Everything attacked me so abruptly and now I am left cornered and defenseless. It is not that it is unfair, but that it is hard to bear. "Choose your major" seems innocent enough, but when you sit down and think about it, the barrage of questions begins. What do I want to major in? What am I going to do with myself in the future? Is this what I will be happy with? All of these questions leave me with so many more questions. Perhaps it is this uncertainty that is the source of my wavering confidence, along with the new "me" whose body I suddenly occupied and must make something out of. Whatever the case is, my goals are simple: Get myself together and embrace this life like I did the old.
For now, that is all. Blogging really gets my creative juices pumping and thought process rolling, I think I will be back sooner than later.